I forgot to pack my pants [Portugal Diaries]
Thinking about this and what it all means (one of my favourite past times). I’m naturally a pretty disorganised and messy person. I’ve missed flights before and my home has been known to sometimes look like the scene of a robbery. Friends always say how surprising this is - think of me as super organised. And I am when it comes to some things, like having fun and stuff for other people. Maybe we unknowingly hide our “weaknesses” from others until our guard clocks off? Good news is we are malleable beings who can change our ways, with the right intention, awareness and intervention of course. And progress is being made on my personal organisation front. But change isn’t linear, is it? Plus only having the pair of pants you wore on the plane for a holiday where you’re mainly wearing a bikini isn’t the end of the world either, right? #itsnotA&E
Old man Shakespeare wrote “your greatest strength begets your greatest weakness”. So flip the messy/disorganised coin and we’ve got flexible, spontaneous, relaxed, creative, big picture thinker. Oh this is a fun game!
What about you? What strengths can you find hidden in the shadows of your “weaknesses?” I’d love to know!
Creating a life outside of the work you love
I always wanted my business to be a vehicle for freedom in my life. I love the work I do but I also want to fall in love, swim in the sea, make a home, make new friends, feel part of a community, move my body, take my nephew on a steam train, catch up with old friends, visit new places, learn new things, spend quality time with my Mum and Dad...
I want to get to the end of my life and feel like, "wow, I really lived it", you know?
All of this to say, despite the year long pause in these emails, I'm still here, working away behind the scenes and making it my business to get busy living too. Some Summer living snapshots below...
One sunny Monday in July, I skived school and went on a mini adventure with a friend. We met somewhere on the Devon and Somerset boarder. We walked, talked, cycled around country lanes, swam in lakes and finished with a late lunch in the pub before driving home our separate ways, stocked up on friendship and mischief.
I went on a date. It was a Tuesday evening. We swam in the sea, watched the sun set and both agreed there was no connection there. I felt sad, not about him, but about my dream of falling in love that suddenly felt so far away from me as I drove home in the dark.
The next day I woke up and drove to Fowey. I sat in coffee shops, watched the world go by, the boats bob up and down and felt something settle inside of me. A change of scene always works wonders, don't you think? And the flame of hope still flickers, which is important when it comes to the things we dream about.
I don't recall any Thursday diary entries... I did have a hygienist appointment one Thursday which was extremely unpleasant, so I flossed my teeth every day for two weeks and then stopped. Forgot about it I think. I'm sure James Clear has something to say about that. ;)
I've been volunteering at Coombe Farm Studios. Every Friday afternoon I paint walls, mop floors, make beds, pack down easels, stir pottery glazes, pick flowers, chop food, lay the table, wash up, drink tea and do all sorts of things that don't require the internet or a computer screen. It's so simple and so joyful. And ending each week with the same friendly faces feels like community to me.
I ended the summer with a week in Portugal with my Mum and Dad My Mum loves playing golf but my Dad hasn't been well enough or able to play with her in recent years. They've spent a considerable chunk of their lives doing stuff for me, probably a lot of it they didn't really want to do - so accompanying Mum on the golf course one afternoon when I'd rather be sunning myself by the pool, and driving to the supermarket each morning to get my Dad a paper when I'd rather be drinking coffee and daydreaming - is really the least I can do, I thought. And it dawned on me that this is quality time and suddenly in that moment it felt like there really was nowhere else I'd rather be. Plus, driving a golf buggy is pretty good fun too!
“We are very good at preparing to live, but not very good at living. We know how to sacrifice ten years for a diploma, and we are willing to work very hard to get a job, a car, a house, and so on. But we have difficulty remembering that we are alive in the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive.
”
How to promote your creative work (without selling out)
If you’re in (or want to be in) business with you creativity, you’ll know that the rollercoaster ride of doing your creative work is just one part of the job. The heart and soul of it, yes. But not the whole of it.
Whatever your creative craft, service, or product, if you want to get paid to do what you love, you are going to need to find people who want, need or love what you do so much that they are willing to pay you for it. In business words, you are going to need to market, promote, network and sell.
The trouble is, for a creative soul like yourself, you have a highly sensitive antennae to cringe-worthy marketing and promotional tactics. A part of your soul literally dies when you think about the next instagram trend, “working a room” or "selling yourself".
You want to get paid to do what you love but you don’t want to be that person. You can’t be that person. There must be another way?!
“She called because she felt uncomfortable promoting herself on the web. I knew what she meant. I’d rather get three root canals in one day than do the kind of hard-sell promotion many marketers advise. Much of it just makes my stomach hurt. But there’s another way. If you trust that you have something of value to offer you 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 to tell people as an act of love. In fact. If you have something that can benefit them, it can even be misguided selfishness to 𝒏𝒐𝒕 share.” [Tosha Silver]
There is another way, thank god! One that's full of integrity. That has you using your creativity, as opposed to confining it exclusively to your craft. One that actually feels real and meaningful. And that stands the test of time over any new marketing trend or networking event.
My clients and I don't - "work a room", "cold call" or “blanket email”. We don’t apologise for the fact that we have something valuable to offer. We don’t take up someone’s time by waffling aimlessly on and on. We don’t send a statistic (aka a human being) down a marketing “funnel” just because some guru told us we should. We don’t obsess over instagram reels. And we don’t “sell” ourselves or our work to people.
Just like you, we care about what we do and how we do it.
We have something valuable to offer. So we communicate the value of our work. Then people decide that they want or need it. And in exchange for the value we provide, we receive some value in return. Money. That's business in a nutshell.
Business starts with understanding the value of what is being offered.
So, what do you do?
I'm not talking about your job title or to do list. I'm talking about the essence of what you do underneath all of that jargon. What are you really doing?
Do you move people to tears? Make people laugh? Transport someone to place in their imagination they never knew existed before? Do your students arrive stressed and anxious and leave calm and connected? Do you make things that save people money or time? Do you teach or educate people on something they really care about? Do you bring out the best in people? Do you add beauty to someone’s day?
So, now we know what you really do, tell me why it's of value?
This can be tricky to grasp and articulate at first. It's hard to step outside of it when we are so intertwined within in. Take the time to really think about this. How does it benefit someone? Why is this important to them? Dig deep. Keep asking, "Why?", "But why?" Surprise yourself with how much there is to say!
Make it your business to understand and believe in the value of what you do. Because if you don’t, how can you expect someone else to?
You don’t need to stop world famine or cure cancer to still be of immense value to this world. Your work will be meaningful in its own unique way.
Make it your business to share your value with real people in the real world. The in's and out's of how you do this is going to depend on who you are - your personality, your unique value, your communication style, what your work is and what your intention is. Every single client of mine does it differently. But we all start with the magic ingredient - believing in the value of the work we do.
Instead of “marketing” and “promoting”, why not share something of real value with people who might really want, need or love it? Forget about “networking”, focus on building genuine and authentic relationships based on understanding one another’s values. Don’t “find people who will pay”, connect with people who value the work you do and offer meaningful ways for them to experience it. No selling necessary.
“Selling” is what a door to door sales person does. Why knock on every door on the street when you can have one intentional conversation or interaction that organically leads to your next paycheque, for example?
"The ego wants quantity but the soul wants quality"
Creative, sustainable and impactful "marketing" and "networking" flows out of the very heart and soul of your creative work. It’s not a separate department that sits over there. It’s a natural extension and sharing of the very thing you love.
When you think about it like that, it doesn't really feel like marketing at all, does it?
You're a class act. Your work could imprint itself on someones soul for the rest of their life. Or bring a touch of magic to someone's otherwise mundane day.
People want and need what you have to offer. They want to know more, hear more, see more, learn more and experience more of what you've got. Don't keep the good stuff all to yourself now. Share the love. Give value. Receive value.
Charting your own course in life
Ahoy There!
Here I am, learning how to helm a boat. Just a day (well, two days if we're being specific) in the life of Captain Gregory. Like many great learning experiences, it was both intense and fun, theoretical and practical, equally as exhilarating as it was exhausting... using new parts of your brain is TIRING right?!
Charting the course of the boat on land was fun. Who doesn't love a map and a bit of retro stationary? But out on the water, adjusting the steering by a few degrees felt underwhelming at first. Had we even changed direction?
It's easier to feel and see something change when we take a one eighty, or a hard right. But these kind of moves take much more engine power and splash. Fun for a bit, sure, but how sustainable is this? Then there's the tides, winds and other boats and hazards to take into account. Let's just say it's not all plain sailing.
Gently and smoothly steering the ship, on the other hand, feels a lot more like an art. A dance with the flow of life. A craft to gracefully master over time. And although shifting a few degrees might feel like nothing is changing in the doing, overtime that small and subtle shift of degree can seriously change the whole course of your journey.
We all have the ability to captain our ship through the ever changing tides and winds of life. To gauge conditions and chart a course of action we see best fit. To course correct as we go. To drop anchor if and when we need to slow down, stop, rest or reassess. To marvel at just how far we’ve come or lie awake under the stars and wonder about all the places we’ve yet to go.
The trouble is, we often wait until we're close to collision before taking to the helm. Perhaps we don't realise or feel that we really are the captain? We push aside and dismiss our hunch that a storm is brewing, even though we feel it in the air. Or we simply forget to sit back and enjoy the ride whilst it lasts, however long that may be.
So here we are, bobbing up and down on our little boats, on the blue bit of the marble that spins and floats in space with it's own moon and a sun and god knows what else.
Isn't it magical and exquisite how small one's life is yet how rich and vast it can be?
Life is precious. And bonkers. And heart-breaking. And joy-making. And as predictable as it is unpredictable. You know this. I know this. But how do we live out our days like we really, truly do know this?
I may have walked away with my powerboat level 2 certificate of competence and a sense of achievement but the real learning begins when I take to the waters without my trusted instructor.
Thanks for reading. I hope you found something in here that sparks something in you. It's always lovely receiving your replies and hearing about what resonates with you.
With love,
Fi X
Ps. I'm currently creating something fun (and hopefully pretty useful). It's a Self-coaching practice for anyone who is looking to bring more joy and direction into their lives (& work) in a gentle yet powerful way. Small steps, done consistently over the course of time :). Self-coaching is a way of heightening one’s own awareness, of learning how to tune into the detail of your life, of cultivating self-compassion, creativity and courage in the face of change or challenge, and celebrating and motivating yourself through the inevitable highs and lows of life. Ultimately, self-coaching is a practice of having real and meaningful agency in how you want to feel, be and act in the world... day in, day out.
It won't officially launch until August but if you're curious to find out more before then, just let me know.
Pps. Self-Coaching is of course different from working with a coach. There would be way less metaphors to start with!