How to Take a Life-Changing Break

I woke up at 1am the other night. Are you familiar with the 3am(ish) anxiety wake up call? Thoughts, problems and longings so urgent, they wake you from dreaming. Thankfully, it wasn't that kind of wake up call. This time was different. Calmness. Excitement even. A sense that everything was going to be alright. Safe in this suspended, liminal space, I'd time travelled far away from yesterday and nowhere near tomorrow. Like where we go when we sleep*, but this time I was wide awake. 

So I made a cup of tea in my favourite mug and settled back into my puffy cloud of a bed. Candle on, rain pitter-pattering against the window** and nowhere to be but right here. 

Whilst in this cocoon, I listened to a brilliant podcast - How to Take a Life-Changing Break.

It was about taking sabbaticals. About how we don’t live in a world where it’s acceptable to take extended leave. We don't promote making space for exploring and pursuing things we might want to do that don’t fit into regular life. How a year of travel at 18 is a gap year but at 40 it's often seen as a mid-life crisis. How space to experiment and do nothing seemingly productive is likened more to a personal melt down than a journey of self discovery or an essential moment of major life re-orientation and re-configuration. And how living an authentic life is about a series of intentional experiments, following our curiosities, and getting into a process where we play out our ideas and dreams about who we could be and what we could do***.

...Now that's a life worth waking up to, I thought as I drifted back off to sleep...

Thanks for reading. I really love receiving your replies and hearing about what resonates with you. With love until the next time.

Fi
 

Ps. Here's a nice playlist. Perfect for a slow or rainy day.

*Where do we go when we sleep?
** Why is the sound of rain against the window so soothing? 
*** If you could suspend the obstacles of money, expectations and responsibilities, what might you want to explore on your sabbatical?

Send me your answers on a postcard :)!

How to manage creative blocks

Hello!

It has been one whole month since I last wrote to you. How are you? What have you been up to? I've been swimming. In oceans, rivers, lakes, quarries, ponds, marine pools, swimming pools and even in a good old fashioned paddling pool. Perhaps swimming is too official a term for the kind of aimless swirling, floating and frolicking I've been doing. (Some pics of my favourite spots below. Which one would you most like to go skinny dipping in??)

Naked swimming aside, I wanted to write to you about what to do when we feel blocked. Experiencing blocks when it comes to our creative endeavours is a very normal thing. The trouble is, if we aren't careful, a block can go from something as seemingly small and insignificant as say, one missed week of pursing our dreams to something as huge and devastating as living a whole life never manifesting our true potential.  

Being in the business of creative coaching, I see all sorts of people bring all sorts of ideas to life - from re-imagining creative careers and businesses to igniting brand new ones. From theatre productions, live events, films, retreats, courses, workshops, podcasts, websites, screenplays, apps, characters, short stories, novels, clothing designs, photoshoots, exhibitions, film posters, their next life chapter... you name it, my clients are creating it.

But it's what they create behind the scenes that really matters. Because behind the scenes of any and every 'thing' they create, will always be the most important asset of all - the person creating it. This is where I meet my clients. This is where the subtle yet powerful work begins. Creating and cultivating the conditions for the creations and the creator to thrive.

We tend to know how to pour love into our creations. We care about them. We want what's best for them. But for some bizarre reason, we tend to be less good at directing love towards ourselves. Can you relate? 

My clients, they have big ambitions. It matters to them that they bring their dreams and ideas to life in their lifetime. But it's not always easy to do something as bold and courageous that that, especially not all on our lonesome. We get stuck and blocked.And this makes us sad, because we want nothing more than to be free.

Without an outside eye, it can be harder to spot when blocks are at play. Harder to notice when unkind thoughts, unfair expectations or self sabotaging patterns have crept in. And before we know it, we've lost precious time. Because fear, our ego - whatever you want to call it - is clever and deceiving, often sneaking in through the back door, desperately trying to help us by keeping us safe (aka stuck). Plus, when we're in the throws of a creative process, it can be pretty hard to tell the wood from the trees. Hard to zoom out and see the big picture when you're immersed in the detail. 

Sometimes the work we must do is very practical. Other times it requires a bit more personal digging and depth. Have I booked in some time off? Am I getting enough sleep, water, nourishment? Are the thoughts I think and the language I speak creating a kind and supportive environment for me to thrive in? Am I being honest with myself? What am I avoiding or delaying? What's really going on here? What do I need? What does the work need? 

When we feel blocked, we so often don't need to crack the whip harder. Instead, can we loosen the grip and see what solutions naturally flow from here? Softening helps. Laughter helps. Honesty helps. Forgiveness helps. Kindness helps. Love helps. Love has this wonderful way of unlocking motivation, discipline and creativity. Oh, and skinny dipping helps too!

There is this beautiful poem in Nayyirah Waheed's, Salt and it goes...


“you do not have to be a fire

for

every mountain blocking you.

you could be a water

and

soft river your way to freedom

too.

- options”

Be more water. 

With love,

Fi X

Creating space to recalibrate on your creative path

Picture a painter... 🧑‍🎨 🖼️ 

They are, we imagine, absorbed in the detail of their canvas.

Then, they pause. Brush and breath suspended. And instead of continuing with their canvas, they step back. Only from this distance can they breathe in the full picture.

As they breathe out, a softness enters their gaze, a welcomed change from the sharp and intense focus just moments before. And in this moment, things begin to integrate, as though by magic the picture itself shows the painter where they must tend to next. Artwork and artist in reverent dialogue with one another. The work is speaking; the artist listening.

These sensitive moments - of space, stillness and softness - are an invaluable yet often overlooked part of the process when it comes to the creation of your own life, career or business. 

A new season is a new opportunity to press pause, zoom out and listen in so that you may hear what shape your next chapter wants to take.

As a creative being, you have a heightened sensitivity to the world around you and within you. If your sensitivity were a season, I think it would be Autumn. The intense red richness of turning leaves, the eternal golden rays of a low setting sun, the melancholy of endings and the inevitability of your own ending one day too. No season better holds the balance of sorrow and beauty than Autumn. It is a mature and wise artist.

May we mature with the season this coming Autumn, cultivating sensitivity by creating the spaces to simply step back and take in the magic all around us and deep within us.

7 Ways to Get Ready For Your Next Creative Season

With one hell of a wild summer sauntering it's way out, it's time to start getting ready for Autumn. 🍁🍂📚☕️🌥

I always find the transition into autumn bittersweet. Melancholy is in the air but so too is a sense of maturity. We watch the trees let go of the summer fun with such grace - returning to their roots and preparing for the next cycle of life with another ring of wisdom around their trunks.

For us too, it's a time to slow down and turn our attention inwards. A time of great refinement!

I love the seasons. Not only for the unique creative energy, inspiration and evolution they bring but also the practical container they offer us and our creativity. A start and a finish date. A sweet spot of time - long enough to get stuck into something, short enough so we don't get completely lost in it.

We often think we need endless time or resource to create something. But too much time, possibility and freedom can paralyse us. Without parameters, creative action will forever be delayed to next week, next month, next year, next lifetime??

A season presents us with an opportunity to create in this lifetime. 

A time to start, build and propel towards something. An opportunity to bring something to life - a change, a project, an idea, a dream, a habit... anything really.

We just need to spend a little bit of time pressing pause so we can curate our very own creative season of magic. Here are some ideas and invitations designed to help you get ready and set for the rhythm of your next creative season...

🍁🍂 7 Ways to Get Ready for your next Creative Season 🍁🍂 

As always, feel free to go your own way with these. Choose the ones that spark something in you and leave the rest. Or, simply use this email as a prompt to create your own "get ready" process for the Autumn, whatever that might be!


💖 Choose your creative project

Is there a project that has been tugging at your heart for some time? Can you make time for it this Autumn? Perhaps it's something you want to focus fully on and go all in with, or perhaps you want to chip away at it gently. Once you've chosen your project, block out some time for it in your calendar.

🧗‍♂️ Choose your creative challenge

A challenge has a dose of stretch in it. Something that nudges you out of your comfort zone but in a playful way. Getting playful with something can be one of the best ways to unlock potential and innovation. Why not spend some time over the next few days dreaming up some challenges. Is there something you want to do that you tend to shy away from? Can you take that thing and turn it into a challenge? For me, challenges are always more fun (and real) when other people are involved. So perhaps now is the time to reach out to your challenge buddy/buddies so you can start spurring and cheering each other on from the get go.

🧑‍🍳 Choose your creative ingredients
What flavours do you want to bring into this season? This could be about the materials you use in your creative practice, or the format or way in which you do things, where you work, when you work. Are there certain conditions or environments you know work well for you? Or perhaps you'd like to explore some new ones? Once you have some ingredients for the season, how can you start intentionally infusing them into the activity you have coming up?

📚 Create your own ‘school term’
What do you want to learn this season? What activities, teachers or resources will support you to grow and develop? Perhaps you want to spend some time researching workshops, courses, events, books and other learning based activities. Can you plot out some ‘term time’ in your calendar? Maybe it’s about sprinkling a few events throughout the season. Or perhaps you want to commit to a learning time each week or month. You choose what you think will work best for you.

🗓  Commit to a habit  

What habit will really feed you and your creativity this season? This could be about bringing something in or, in the style of Autumn, taking something out and letting it go instead. Keep it simple by choosing just onehabit to focus on. 

🍂 Choose a word for the season
Is there a focus you want to carry into the season? A word thats guides your decision making, intention and motivation? Once you've arrived on your word, create some visual prompts and/or reminders. Maybe you find a stone to write your word on and you keep that stone by your bedside table or desk. Or set a screensaver? Or calendar reminders. Or stick it up on your fridge or pinboard.... Something that keeps the word alive for you.

🌳 Return to your roots & cultivate your creative support system

Autumn is the season of returning inwards but let that not mean doing it alone. I believe that support is the magic ingredient for a thriving creative life. Have you heard about the Secret Language of Trees? Let yourself (and others) thrive this season by cultivating a healthy support network. Maybe it's about reaching out to find a new ally. Or perhaps it's about reconnecting with those who have been there all along and finding meaningful moments to deepen into your existing support system.

Thanks for reading. I hope you find something in here that sparks something in you. I hope you feel inspired to tap into more of that creative magic you have inside of you. Do let me know what you come up with. I'd love to know. 

Also, here's a playlist to ease into the energy of this next season. I hope you like it.

With love,

Fi X

Do more of what you love and love more of what you do.
 

Ps. Some of my ingredients for the season are - "in person" and "outside".

When I first designed my business (& life) in 2018, some of my core ingredients were quality time with people and less time behind a computer/ more time out in the real world. It's a simple but powerful North Star that I frequently lose sight of in this digital/ covid hangover world. But it's comforting to know that it's always there for me to come back to and that a simple tweak really can make a profound and meaningful difference to my days, seasons, years and life.

It's amazing that I run a business I can take with me to Portugal or Bali and work with people who live in Ibiza and America. But it is also just as amazing that I can meet people in real life for quality time in beautiful places like Petersham Nursuries and Kew Botanical Gardens (pics below). 🌿 🌸 🌳

So, this season I'll be focusing much more on my in person offerings. I'll be hosting sessions in London during the first week of every month (1st - 7th).

If you'd like to have a chat about how we can work together during to support you and your creative ambitions in a practical and personal way, then I'd love to hear from you. To find out more, hit reply to this email and we'll have a chat. Or, Book in a consultation here. Consultations are complimentary and there's never any obligation or pressure to take things further. I look forward to hearing from you!

How fear keeps us stuck and what to do about it

“Let me list for you some of the many ways in which you might be afraid to live a more creative life: You’re afraid you have no talent. You’re afraid you’ll be rejected or criticized or ridiculed or misunderstood or—worst of all—ignored. You’re afraid there’s no market for your creativity, and therefore no point in pursuing it. You’re afraid somebody else already did it better. You’re afraid everybody else already did it better. You’re afraid somebody will steal your ideas, so it’s safer to keep them hidden forever in the dark. You’re afraid you won’t be taken seriously. You’re afraid your work isn’t politically, emotionally, or artistically important enough to change anyone’s life. You’re afraid your dreams are embarrassing. You’re afraid that someday you’ll look back on your creative endeavors as having been a giant waste of time, effort, and money. You’re afraid you don’t have the right kind of discipline. You’re afraid you don’t have the right kind of work space, or financial freedom, or empty hours in which to focus on invention or exploration. You’re afraid you don’t have the right kind of training or degree. You’re afraid you’re too fat. (I don’t know what this has to do with creativity, exactly, but experience has taught me that most of us are afraid we’re too fat, so let’s just put that on the anxiety list, for good measure.) You’re afraid of being exposed as a hack, or a fool, or a dilettante, or a narcissist. You’re afraid of upsetting your family with what you may reveal. You’re afraid of what your peers and coworkers will say if you express your personal truth aloud. You’re afraid of unleashing your innermost demons, and you really don’t want to encounter your innermost demons. You’re afraid your best work is behind you. You’re afraid you never had any best work to begin with. You’re afraid you neglected your creativity for so long that now you can never get it back. You’re afraid you’re too old to start. You’re afraid you’re too young to start. You’re afraid because something went well in your life once, so obviously nothing can ever go well again. You’re afraid because nothing has ever gone well in your life, so why bother trying? You’re afraid of being a one-hit wonder. You’re afraid of being a no-hit wonder”

― Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear



Is it any wonder we don't start, get stuck, or can't finish? Are we surprised that we abandon or procrastinate on the things we really want to do because the stakes are that much higher when we actually care about doing it? 

Fear loves inaction. It could hang out in there all day, thinking and stewing on things... on you.

A creative act, no matter how big or small, is an act of courage. We manifest our courage through the action we take. The more action we take, the more courage we make.

So throw open the doors, let the sunlight flood in, fill your lungs with a big breath of fresh air then, take the first step. It's going feel so good when that sunshine warms your face again. You'll no doubt kick yourself, Why have I been sat in that dark room for so long? But that's just fear talking, trying to lure you back in. Don't listen to it. Don't even think about it. Just take another step. And another. And another. And... What was that? I can't hear you... I can't... I...

So, open the door. Get out there. Out there is where you belong. Out there is where you want to be. Out there is where you get to be who you really are.

No more hiding in the dark. Are you in? Or should I say, out??