Have you ever been given a book with a message written in the front cover? I do hope so. It’s such a treasured and special gift, isn’t it? Like passing on a torch and igniting something in someone.

A talented writer and friend of mine gave me Steven Pressfield’s ‘The War Of Art’. Have you read it? And re-read it? And then read it again? I hope so. I picked it up again today and felt compelled to write this. So here goes…

Fear, doubt, self-sabotage… all are part and parcel of the emotional rollercoaster of creative life and work.

There is this script, whether we’re aware of it or not, which is always there. It works — and often succeeds — to prevent us from creating work and a life that is truly ours. It is a negative, toxic force that keeps us stuck and makes us sad. The existential crisis. The creative crisis.

The script goes a little something like this…

(Feel free to scroll to the bottom if you’re already well acquainted with your resistance!)

I don’t know where to start.

I’ll clear the decks this week and start tomorrow.

I have too many ideas on the go, if I could just focus on one thing at a time…

Ive got too much time, there’s no deadline to lay the pressure on.

I don’t have enough time to really do this justice.

I’ll do it next year.

It’s not the right time right now.

I can’t keep wasting time making mistakes.

If I can’t get it right the first time, I don’t want to ruin the idea.

I don’t have the energy for it just now.

I don’t even know what it is I want I just know it’s not this.

I’m worried I don’t have what it takes.

I can’t afford to get this wrong.

What if it’s not the right idea?

What if it is the right idea but it’s the wrong time?

It won’t earn me any money.

I’ll never earn any money.

Why do I never have any money?

What if it’s a total failure?

What if it goes wrong?

What if it’s a flop?

It won’t be good enough. It’s never good enough.

I’m not good enough.

It will be so embarrassing, again.

What if people laugh at me?

People already are laughing at me.

People will ridicule me.

People won’t like me.

What am I even doing?

What if no one likes it?

What if I don’t like it?

What if no one cares?

What if no one buys it?

What if no one comes?

What if it gets an awful review?

What if no one even reviews it?

Who do I think I am?

Who am I to create this?

I don’t deserve this.

I don’t want any of this.

Is this idea even original?

Someone else will probably do it better.

Someone else has probably already done it better.

How does so-and-so always have so much success?

It’s not fair.

I can’t handle anymore rejection.

I’m scared.

Why am I always so scared?

I don’t know if I can put myself through this again.

It’ll never work.

This is a joke.

None of this even makes any sense.

How will I explain it?

I wonder what she meant by that comment last week?

I should call him back.

I know they’re a bad influence but I’m in too deep now.

I’ll go out.

I’ll stay in.

I’ll do the dishes.

I’ll end up homeless.

I’ll have another drink.

Why do I never finish anything?

No one will like it anyway so what’s the point.

No one likes me.

What if they leave me?

I’ll never meet anyone.

My parents will disown me.

People will think I’m weird.

I mean, I am weird.

Come to think of it, I’ve never really fitted in.

I should just quit this stupid dream.

What even is my dream?

I should just get a normal job.

But I can’t even get a normal job.

What is wrong with me?

I’m so sick of feeling like this.

I can’t go on like this.

When am I going to just grow up?

What if lose my home?

This is just another stupid idea.

What’s even the point of this?

What does this mean?

What is the real meaning of my life?

What if I go mad?

What if I am mad?

…and on and on and on…

I hope you got sick of reading that repetitive, nasty, negative script and scrolled right down to this place here.

Because there is another force at play. A creative calling inside us all.

Our ideas and dreams, our desire to create, our capacity to love and to contribute. This is a positive force. It lights us up and brings true joy and meaning to our life and the people around us.

Light and dark are always there. It’s natural. We forget how natural both are. We forget how natural we are.

So here I am passing on the torch.

We must start by acknowledging that both exist. Then we must work patiently to create coping strategies to manage the dark whilst cultivating the conditions for igniting the light.